VerDanchoNarrative, VerDanchoFinalNarrative

VerDanchoDefintionalArgument, VerDanchoFinalDef

VerDanchoAnalogy, VerdanchoFinalAnl

VerDanchoEvaluation, VerDanchoFinalEva

VerDanchoProposal, VerDanchoFinalProp

VerDanchoFinalDraft, DraftTwo, VerDanchoFinalFinal

 

Check out the new blogs at the bottom

 

Blog 1: Solitaire

 

I'm having a shitty day, nothing to do. Black eight. Seven of diamonds. Solitaire's a worthless game.

I'm sitting alone, so I thought the game fitting.

It's not the difficulty of the game that turns me off, even though I can't seem to get through the deck. No, it's the repetition, the black-follows-red tedium. I entered college to get away from any kind of day-to-day order and routine. With college, nothing's the same. There's always new people and places to find. Even after my four-year experience, the best I'll be able to claim is a rough familiarity with the exspanse of state college and PSU.

 

 

 

Blog 2: Weather Channel

 

I turned on the Weather channel to hear a reporter remarking, "the air is filled with the scent of those decayed corpses." I know how tragic it is, what's been going on in New Orleans, and I feel sympathy for the lives lost and homes destroyed, but how does someone not realize that they should evacuate a city in the path of a hurricane, especially one so powerful as Katrina.

I remember learning in school how hurricanes are formed and what makes one worse than the next. I can't remember much, but I know it had something to do with the Coriolis Effect. That basically says that as anything approaches the equator, it begins to spin from the difference in velocity of the ever-rotating Earth. See, the equator is the fastest part of the spinning Earth because it has the greatest radius from the axis, so all the other parallels are moving slower than the equator because of their lesser radii. When a storm approaches the equator, that part of the storm starts going faster than the rest of the storm and starts to spin back into it and the whole things swirls. The longer a storm stays near the equator the faster and more destructive it becomes. Katrina was at the equator for a while. Thank you for reading that horribly boring explanation that now counts as my day's journal entry.

 

Blog 3: Walking

 

Steam billowed and heaved from Pollock's storm drains as I passed by, a scene reminiscent of lands just before a volcano erupts, which assured Penn State was destined to be a lava flow or at least covered in a few inches of ash--but that didn't matter. I was late for class, and time, tide and my architecture prof wait for no man.

I was lost and incredibly disorganized (I haven't even ordered the books for my class yet), but I can explain that--I'm a freshman. I asked for direction and bummed a pencil off the only guy close to me and immediately regretted it. This man whose random protrusions of facial hair most resembled the fuzz of Master Splinter wanted to make friends when I just needed a quick left or right. I said no thanks but thanks for the writing implement and jetted.

I took this experience as a divine sign and called it quits on finding my class. I wasn't going to ask directions from any other freaks. I thought, Hey, today sucks, but at least it'll make a good blog. How's that for a silver lining?

 

Blog 4: Queer?

 

I attended my first architecture class today. I'm not an architecture major and actually took the class by accident. As I recall, the day I had selected courses, I worked quick to get out early. I just found a list of gen-eds and picked a number at random. End's up that it was a architecture history course.

I missed the first class because I was having a bad day. I get lost easily. I no longer carry that damn map with me because it's a dead giveaway I'm a freshman and who really wants to make that public information. That might explain my uncanny ability to lose direction.

Anyways, I went to the class and was pleasantly surprised. Architecture's pretty unoffensive and benign. I started to be fascinated by all the miscellaneous crap I don't know about buildings when these two frat boys started talking behind me. Evidently, they were not so pleased with the class and felt a need to make that known. They're idiots, so they said things about how queer and gay the class was ...and that's about it, all they could come up with. I can see they're point because, after all, all buildings are pretty much phalic symbols--so architects play with penises all day long. Then I started thinking that that isn't so bad. I'd love a job where i can work on my penis all day long.

 

Blog 5: Lovin' the Laundry

 

I wandered upstairs from my dorm to the girls floor. Just so happens all the laundry machines are on girls' floors (feminism be damned) and I had some dirty clothes. I grabbed my bag of laundry that, at this point, looks like the sack of things a hobo carries all his worldly possessions in and went to the machines. It took about 15 minutes to get a free washer. Only one washer was open and I had to work a little laundry triage, meaning that I just stuffed in my undies and any shirts I thought I really, really needed.

I've never done laundry before so I was a bit befuddled. Fortunately, there was a moderately hot girl there to help me. Yeah, I know the story would have been better if the girl was a knockout, but whatcha gonna do? I'm a truthful person. She told me to separate by color and make sure I didn't set the water on hot, all those things you hear about for laundry , but never actually do. She was helpful.

It took forever, but the clothes were clean and dry. Overall, the experience was good and I got a new hat--somebody left it in a washer and it fit. Side note: Is it strange the hypnotic scene of a spinning dryer makes me want to take my clothes off?

 

Blog 6: D&D

 

Debate and dialogue have in common the element of multiple sides. However, the two differ in the detail of their definitions. Dialogue is any words between those sides, whereas debate is fighting words between the sides. Dialogue doesn't try to convince other sides of a view point.

 

Blog 7: W.C. Blues

 

 

Last Saturday, due to an overwhelming lack of balance and some blurred vision, I was unable to return to my dorm in East Halls from a party. My non-drinking friend took me to his dorm and let me stay the night. It was real classy of him to do this and I love the dude for it, but the morning after, he was a complete douche.

I needed a hot shower. That is the sole thing that makes my life an insignificant amount more comfortable after partying. So I woke up around noon and borrowed my friends towel and other shower accouterments to do the deed, which he was totally cool with. Unfortunately, we had problems when I refused his shower sandals.

Here's a little background info on me: I don't wear shower sandals. Yeah, I know its unsanitary--so what? Not wearing sandals is my thing. Some people race cars at 120, jump out of planes, listen to the Osmonds, or have unprotected sex. I don't wear anything on my feet in the shower. It's the one thing in the world that gives me that adrenalin rush, that vacuum in my lungs that tells me I live on the edge, and I like it.

I tried explaining this sick indulgence to my friend and he was taken aback. I was like, Wow, if you have issues with this modest idiosyncrasy than wait till you get into my fingernail fetish and tenancies towards cannibalism. He said he was only concerned for my safety, and then I may or may not have made a comment calling into question the cleanliness of his sandals.

Now my friend said that he had no problem with my foot choice, but that his floor was mostly diehard Christians, so I should watch out. I said, Yeah, I know. If it were a Jewish floor, there'd be no problem. I'd have a kosher shower 'cause Jews are very clean people. Not only have I got to worry about the basic athlete's foot and Ebola, but now I might even contract stigmata of the feet. That just ups the rush. Then Keith says (His name is Keith. What a douchey name, right?) he didn't say that for the health of my feet, but that he thought I may offend his Christian brethren by going for a shower naked-toes. I called it naked-toes. Was that creative or what? I'm pretty good with on-the-spot thinking.

I told my friend that regardless of my foot situation, I was going to offend these men of God, and left. I made a point of rubbing my feet over every surface I could find in the shower room, so I could catch something cool or spread some of my bad foot mojo.

 

Blog 8: Sandwich Superpower Conundrum

 

I sit at my desk making a sandwich, or bocadillo en Espanol. My twin slices of bread lay to my extreme left and right and between the two are my meats, turkey and Virginia ham, and week-old provolone, all carefully wrapped in translucent plastic. But I cant go through with it. I just cant.

There's no mayo. My first thought is to construct some from eggs and vinegar, but those I lack too. My second is that I'm far to lazy to run all the way down to college ave to pick up some.

Wish I had the power to make mayonnaise. No, that power would seriously suck anywhere outside of this situation. Maybe if I had the power of telekinesis over eggs and vinegar...

 

Blog 9: Random IMing that I'm Using as a Blog because I'm Lazy But also Serves as an Example of Dialogue

 

SomeGirlWhoseNameIChanged: thank you, verdant dancho, for schooling me.

 

 

Auto response from Verdancho: Tryin to corrupt my thoughts with violent video games before doing up my ED&G paper. Leave me one. I'll hear the beep

 

SomeGirl returned at 10:07:43 PM.

SomeGirl: ed&g papers are sooo overquoted.

Verdancho: Sorry. Couldnt hep it. We're all just prisoners of our own device

SomeGirl: yea man. it can be heaven or it can be hell.

Verdancho: yea, eagles..

SomeGirl: theyre on the tele as well. taking over, i suppose.

Verdancho: such a lovely place, such a lovely place

Verdancho: -face

SomeGirl: mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice.

SomeGirl: so tell me about college.

Verdancho: its a place of integrity and learning

SomeGirl: heh.

Verdancho: ha ha

SomeGirl: sure, pitt too.

SomeGirl: there is a gramatical error in your blog.

SomeGirl: they wouldnt have 'got then hell out'... theyd have 'gotten' the hell out.

SomeGirl: minus 25 for ryan dancho.

Verdancho: dont care

Verdancho: did it all in about half an hour

Verdancho: speed not accuracy

SomeGirl: thats not like you. youve changed.

Verdancho: huh

SomeGirl: youre a grammar nazi.

Verdancho: that's one way of putting it

Verdancho: and Nazi's with an upper-case n

Verdancho: that make you feel better

SomeGirl: I'd love a job where i can work on my penis all day long.!

Verdancho: uh huh

SomeGirl: i cant believe thats in your english blog!!

SomeGirl: hahahahahahahhahahaaha

Verdancho: my prof reads them thoroughly

Verdancho: I'm sure he's impressedd with my ability to get humor across

SomeGirl: i think theyre fantastic.

Verdancho: O, gee thnaks, Steph

SomeGirl: now tim told me of your toils on a friday night...

SomeGirl: that isnt sounding so good.

SomeGirl: i cant comprehend that you cant find a party to go to...

Verdancho: yea, the frat i frequent wasnt havin a pary

Verdancho: and tim couldnt help me to score any ladies to get into the other frats

SomeGirl: here though they let anybody in anywhere...

Verdancho: and i got his sorry ass into a frat with a live band

Verdancho: or is it that they let girls in anywhere

Verdancho: guys got the shaft up here at PSU

awildrumpus: they let girls in anywhere free, guys in =anywhere for $5.

Verdancho: yea, i avoided the ones with fees

SomeGirl: i would too.

SomeGirl: they try to make girls pay for liquor sometimes...

Verdancho: so that left pretty slim pickings

SomeGirl: like shots are 3 for a $...

Verdancho: what?

SomeGirl: (or free for tits)

Verdancho: this is outrageous

SomeGirl: but were cunning little bitches and get guys to buyt htem for us.

SomeGirl: we dont even take cash when we go out.

Verdancho: same here

Verdancho: i loose my wallet ot much when i drink

Verdancho: -too

SomeGirl: haha

SomeGirl: my bed is up really high... like chest level high. and i could not get into it last friday, it was the funniest thing.

 

Verdancho: your bed is chest level?

Verdancho: should i go for the cheep shot and ask about the dirty pillows?

SomeGirl: lol, no.

Verdancho: k

Verdancho: i puked in the middle of a dancing crowd

SomeGirl: if you ever want to come visit here, i think my roomate would go for you.

Verdancho: hot?

SomeGirl: shes pretty.

SomeGirl: shes dumb and annoying. and jewish.

Verdancho: eh...

Verdancho: we got plenty of pretty ones up here

SomeGirl: i dont thin kshes ever had a bf.

Verdancho: give her my condolences

SomeGirl: i dont like to talk to her much.

Verdancho: wait

Verdancho: you dont like to talk to somebody

SomeGirl: shes really stupid.

SomeGirl: and annoying

SomeGirl: and has a long island accent.

Verdancho: wow,

Verdancho: getting more attractive by the minute

SomeGirl: lol. see i thought youd like her.

Verdancho: seriously, steph

Verdancho: by your description i want to put the screws to her right now

SomeGirl: if you had facebook you could really check her out.

Verdancho: http://www.bartleby.com/64/C003/0144.html

Verdancho: yea, i'm not really conforming to the face book

Verdancho: there's a little fuck-you for ya

SomeGirl: thats wack.

SomeGirl: gotten is a word.

Verdancho: not that i've ever typed

Verdancho: either way

Verdancho: it probably should've been have got

SomeGirl: man oh man.

SomeGirl: no no no.

SomeGirl: gotten is stilla word, just most people dont use it properly, is what this is saying. maybe?

SomeGirl: im not reading it.

Verdancho: no it doesnt say that at all

Verdancho: it just literally reads, "steph, your wrong"

 

 

Verdancho: -youre

SomeGirl: what do i know, im just a pitt.

Verdancho: yah

Verdancho: so how you doin

SomeGirl: well.

Verdancho: that's good

Verdancho: i'm ready to kill somebody

SomeGirl: oh yea?

Verdancho: been playing video games

 

 

 

Blog 10: My Favorite Number

 

You guessed right: it is seven. Yes, the number between 6 and 8. O, it's a good one. You know, that's how many dwarves there were.

Dont know if you've noticed, but I choose a somewhat less offensive topic for this post. The sorry attempt at humor by sheer shock value backfired. My appologies to anyone I made mad or scared.

 

 

Blog 11: Tardy Blog

 

I havent blogged a lot of late. My bad, but i can explain it. I always forget these things, these "assignments" teachers so liberally dish out. Forgetting's just something that happens to me constantly. I'm a recovering amnesiac, and also pathological liar. I should really get back on track and make more posts so i can get a favorable mark in the course. Pfffft...I should do a lot of things, like have that seeping rash checked out. That's the last time I dont suit up my mister just cause a chick says she's on the pill.

I find it difficult to exorcise my thoughts to a format where all can see them. I find it ever more difficult to do that gratis, so i wont give up the twisted innermost fantasies and memories. Nah, I'll save those for the deep-down locked cells of my mind and maybe the bathroom walls. I'll give you guys the trivial stuff, my crappy everyday occurences and cheesy joke setups.

I suppose it's easier to put my thoughts on the internet, though. Committing them to the ether of cyberspace seems less real and more mutable than the confines of an 8.5 by 11.

 

Blog 12: A Poem

 

The rain fell past my eyes and the glass,

leaving portion of its brief passage,

by silent and perfunctory adhesion, on my window

In jealosy, these droplets joined

and listlessly, limpidly trailed down,

yearning to be like, but not holding

a flame to its previous incarnation

How the chance sputtering on my window

changes the fate of the same Hs and Os

 

 

Blog 13: Explanation of Blog 12

 

That horrible poem i posted, yeah, the one right up there, i had it saved from my English class last year. I was never much for poetry ('cept for Allen Ginsberg. He's the shit), so i tried to mock it by using the formula for perfectly amateur poems. Basically, you take a simple, doesnt-matter-much thing and describe it, maybe throw in a few lines with your senses. Put in an image that doesnt at all belong (call this a "metaphor" if someone asks you about it). At the end tack on some enigmatic, questioning phrase. Also, I used this loophole called "free verse," that means i dont even have to rhyme stuff. Is that cake or what?

 

Blog 14: Required how-to assignment: How to Butter a Croissant

 

Step 1: Acquisition of Croissant

Save up some money and buy a plane ticket to France. Here you will introduce yourself to any random snooty Frechman, then kidnap him at gunpoint and transport him back to your home. Give the Frenchman dough and torture him thoroughly until he has produced one croissant. The most successful, tried-and-true method of this is the Silence of the Lambs approach, wherein the Frenchman is holed up in an old well and squirted with a hose until he yeilds a croissant.

Step 2: Halving

Wash your hands (handling the Frenchman is a dirty task due the French stadand of hygiene and his being stuck in a well for a good while). Take a knife and insert it into the croissant long-ways. Draw the knife back and forth in a sawing motion to cut from tip to tail of the croisant.

Step 3: Buttering

Intoduce knife to butter, or margarin for you sissies. With a chunk of butter on the knife, rub the knife across the two croissant halves. Now, eat up.

Step 4: Disposal

Take the knife into the well, or other torture station and dispatch of the Frenchman with the same in-and-out sawing motion.

 

 

Blog 15: I Need a New Toaster

 

The toaster aflame:

His sole service requited

with newspaper toast

 

Blog 16: Hate's an easy muse for writing. Use it.

 

I hate Kansas. Numerous things collaborate to create the psychic upheaval of disgust for this evil that is Kansas. Partly, it's that Kansas' capital is Topeka, while its real capital, Kansas City, rests miles away in Missouri. Why doesnt Missouri just annex Kansas already. Partly, its that Kansas was attained as a portion of the Louisiana Purchase, another dealing with those snooty French. But mostly my deep-rooted hatred stems from "Dust in the Wind." Yes, it's melodic and beautiful, but aside from that it's shit. I need no reason to back this claim.

 

Blog 17: This Blog's just Taking up Space

 

Had my first Architecture History test today. I had no problem with it. I feel that I didnt learn the depth of knowledge to answer the question correctly based on what I've taken from the course. Perhaps this is because i have only attended one day of class. Whatever--the teacher posted most of his notes online, so no worries. The questions were not hard, though. Even without the wealth of knowledge gained in class, I could easily answer the majority of questions correctly. See, I'm a good test-taker.

 

Blog 18: Enthymeme Example

 

Last year, a friend of mine comes up to me, says, "Dude, I'm bored--wanna go see a movie?" Naturally I say yes. He says, "Yeah, I'm really jazzed about this new movie OPEN RANGE," and here comes the enthymeme, "It's good. It has Kevin Costner." Now, I'm not sure if you were following along closely, but that motherfucker just said Kevin Costner was good. Granted, my friend was dumb, and probably should have been tested for mental retardation at a young age, but even a retard couldnt mistake the "craft" Kevin Costner does for acting.

I sat through DANCES WITH WOLVES, and it took me about a week to come out of the vegetative state i was in. And for God's sake, what was WATER WORLD.

The only good film ever to put a smudge of dignity on Costner's career of shit was FIELD OF DREAMS. Damn that was good.

 

Blog 19: Rain

 

Its raining out, and Im finally dry. I just got back from my indescribably wonderful English class. Why was it so indescribably wonderful? Because its held indoors where the rain cant get me.

The trip back sucked, of course. It was raining. I got wet. See, Im not intelligent enough to bring an umbrella with me when its raining out because i feel that its a feminine object. And the dinky little umbrella i have is pretty girly.

I took the bus and didnt think it would matter that i didnt have anything to shelter me from precipitation .You cant get rained on on a bus. Well, that's true, but you can the second you step off it, and when the rains pelt down in waves like an ocean's waterspout, you tend to get a bit soggy. So on the few dozen steps from the bus stop to my halls, i think i absorbed possibly more water than if i were lying in a full bathtube and made of sponge. The rained made my hands and feet pruny (yes, feet. it was a bad day to wear sandals). I had to jump from person to person, taking advantage of their cover like some kind of umbrella parasite.

You know I'm dedicated to my class when i go through all that just to make my attendance apparent. Youre welcome for my prescence in English today, class.

 

Blog 20: Genocide Homework

 

Evidently, I'm supposed to post a blog on the Cambodian Genocide and cite at least one other site for it.

Cambodian Genocide. It is done. Wow, genocides sure arent fun things. This is probably one of the few appropriate situations one can make an analogy to the Holocaust, unlike these.

 

Blog 21: Frats

 

Frats suck, and i dont know why i go to them. I'd rather die than go to a frat.

 

http://www.geocities.com/verdancho/VennDeath.JPG

 

Blog 22: Elaborating

 

Blog 21 probably needs elaboration. Well, the other night i went out to a frat, even though i dont like frats, to try and obtain some cerveza libre, and was ruefully shut down.

I got in, no problem. My charm and sophistication can usually allow me to bypass any jock frat boy. I got to the basement, where the beer was served, and made it to the front of the beer line with a group of my friends. Thing is, with frats you always gotta somebody to get beer. And for once, I did. My friend new some pledge who was at the frat, and this was explained to the kid dispensing the booze. Kid starts asking some question about the pledge and of course I lie--i want beer. After grillin me and the guys for a few minutes he realizes that i'm not so tight with the guy. He says, "Alright you can have some, 'cept you (pointing to me). You lied to me." He gives all my friends beer, but none for me.

I hate frat boys. Period. And this guy was scrawny. I mean, i couldve snapped his neck between my pinky and thumb. I shouldve dispatched of the guy on the spot, but im the decent type who doesnt go around offing people.

 

However, if i see this guy again, ever, I may not be so generous. Ive been indulging in psychotic fantasies about how this could go. Likely, ill befriend the guy and invite him to my dorms. Then, i'll lure him into the basement with a promise of rare wine so good that his sophisticated taste would be completely taken aback. Ill take him to dank catacombs of my wine cellar, punch him, and shackle his ass to the wall. Lastly, before his eyes, I'll erect a wall from mortar and brick, enclosing him in the cellar. He'll never see the light of day again. For evil, you gotta go Poe.

 

Blog 23: Nice Guys Finish Last

 

So i'm walking home from ED&G this morning, and it's nice. Weather's cool, 55 to be precise, sun's shining and the happy animals are frolicking before my eyes. I'm on my final stretch, the landing strip, the last concrete walk before I get to the doors of my hall.

Out of nowhere comes this guy. He's going into my halls and is way ahead of me, so why do i even notice him? A man exiting the halls decides to be a nice guy and holds the door for him, starting a chain of events that makes me just want to emotionally damage people (I'm not really into physical harm. Plus psychological is much more fun).

The guy entering also decides to be a nice guy and holds the door for me. Now remember, I'm a good 1000 miles away (approximately 1609 km) and this douche decides to do this. Just because the first man did this guy solid, he thinks hes gotta transmit this gesture to me. Well fuck him.

 

 

I give this guy a look like, "There's no way in hell i can make that." I continue walking and he continues being a polite dick. So i feel bad and trot up to the door like some idiot, jogging when i seriosly dont have to. The second i get there, the alarm goes off, blaring in my ears, making my eyes wanna pop out of their sockets. I deliver a brusque thankyou and slam shut the door.

If this dude is out there, just randomly reading English blogs, i have a card key, A-hole.

 

Blog 24: AA's for Asses

 

Hi. I'm Ryan (Crowd: Hi, Ryan), and I'm a cynic. My father was cynic, as my mother, and they used to beat me into a writhing state of comedy with Dave Barry's STAY FIT AND HEALTHY UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD. I feel this largely influenced my habit.

This week, i'm approaching my second-month chip. That's right, 2 months without sarcasm, quips or gloomy humor.

I'm proud of that and can attribute it mostly to loving friends and roomate without a sense of humor. I'm just takin it one day at a time.

 

Blog 25: Causal Argument 1: Hiroshima Caused Katrina

 

http://www.mosnews.com/news/2005/09/08/kgbkatrina.shtml

 

Weatherman Scott Stevens believes there to be an unusual and secretive cause of Hurricane Katrina, that this was no ordinary phenomenon of weather. In the early 70s, Russian scientists developed a weather machine. The device used electromagnetic generators from ground-based microwave transmitters to alter weather patterns. After the fall of the empire, Russia sold replicas out to numerous countries. Stevens knows one of these countries to be Japan and has concluded that Yakuza elements here used the device to attack the US.

The evidence of this is apparent to any meteorologist, with the hurricane's exhibiting suspicious rectolinear shapes seen in satellite photos and unusual guiding movements to New Orleans, assuring anyone that this was caused by the aforementioned machine. It's technical jargon like that that makes me believe this claim. Also, Japan clearly has motive because of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, so common sense says Japan had a hand in this unnatural disaster.

 

More conspiracy theories

 

 

Blog 26: Causal Argument 2: Nasal Discomfort Can Be Caused By Irritants on the Job

 

http://healthlink.mcw.edu/article/968782294.html

 

I woke up today with some pretty sucky sinuses. I was drippin all over the place and wondered what had happened, what put a hex on my allergies. Well, this article claims that it may have been caused by on-the-job allergens. Yes, things like chemicals, animals, latex, and flour are proven to mess up the allergies. Good thing I retired from my position at the chicken powdering factory where i had to where latex gloves all day (Count yourself lucky: the gloves were the second thing that came to mind that's made of latex. I could have been doing something seriously wrong to those chickens). But i'm pretty sure my allegeries are triggered by whatever evil mold is growing in my dorm.

 

Blog 27: Causal Critique of TheRedHotSpot's http://www.aboutourkids.org/aboutour/articles/hate.html

 

Claim: The nations hurting America are causing a prejudice against themselves in American children.

Evidence: Numerous cited cases in children

Counter-arguments: Possibly, the chidren's prejudice is not caused by the hurting acts themselve, but rather, by attitudes and comments of parents

 

Blog 28: Causal Critique fo TheLyle's http://www.scienceblog.com/community/article4174.html

 

Claim: Economic prosperity is not an accurate gauge of the nation's well-being and that the psycological well-being of citizens is.

Evidence: As a nation, America doing well economically (compared to many other nations) but doesnt have people who are emotionally well

Counter-arguments: Other, better measures of prosperity may be the morals of a society, gauged perhaps by judicial worth

 

Blog 29: The Most Dangerous Lame

 

Flipping through the channels, I happen upon the movie HARD TARGET on Spike. Here, Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a man who's being hunted down like an animal by some rich, mysterious man who no longer finds thrill in hunting any game lesser than man. Now, like any other man, testosterone pumps through my viens, so i love action, and i secretly hold a thrill-induced erection when Van Damme roundhouses any random chinese man, but i cannot idly go by while this movie plays. It's a blantant rip off of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME, a fine piece of literature. Dammit, why cant VD just go back to prison movies.

 

Blog 30: Using a Quote to Get Out of Saying Something for Yourself

 

"A man that thinks he can and a man that thinks he can't...they're both right...which one are you?"

 

Blog 31:

 

Town's empty this weekend, and most of my friends are home for the weekend, so I'm bored. And after a series of vigorous naps, I decided to do some work on my ED&G project, a chair made of cardboard. I had cut the perfect lines deftly drawn across the cardboard, missing every one of them, finding the irony in cutting with an exacto knife. There's no way this is getting done by Tuesday.

 

Blog 32: Stymergy Homework

 

Stigmergy, a term coined by Pierre-Paul Grasse, defines the peculiar way of information flow in certain types of insects. In Grasse's work, a termite colony was studied. He found, as an insect moved about the colony, the bug performed tasks essential to that region of the colony without communication from other bugs. Grasse concluded that just by seeing the part of the colony, the termite would register that a job needed to be done--that information could be passed by architecture of one's surroundings. That is stigmergy.

 

 

Blog 33: Plagiarism Homework

 

Check it out. I just wrote this for my public speeking class. I am so awesome:

 

---

Four score and seven and 142 years ago, our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation: conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

 

Now we are engaged in a great civil Iraq war. . .testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated. . . can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war.

 

We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

 

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate. . .we cannot consecrate. . . we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

 

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us. . .that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion. . . that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain. . . that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom. . . and that government of the people. . .by the people. . .for the people. . . shall not perish from the earth.

---

 

On an unrelated topic, plagiarism is stealing another's text and passing it off as your own. I say stealing because the word denotes an illegal and immoral act. And just so everyone knows, I will have no part in plagiarism of any kind.

 

Blog 34: Evaluative Argument: Punk = Queen?

 

I'm taking this argument from something my friend always says, and I only state this for the off chance that he reads this and kicks my ass for stealing his witty observation. Punk rockers are this (My fingers are so unbelievable close together. You would not believe) close to being gay. Maybe i should define what i mean by gay. I'm refering more to the Queer Eye lifestyle than the actual back-door shafting, and trust me,there, the two sides have some common ground. Clothes--punk rockers wear tight-fitting jeans, even women's jeans as gay men often do. They're thin and they accentuate this with tight clothes. Now, this doesnt apply to all the homosexuals out there, more the feminine type, the "woman" in a guy-guy relationship. Both have piercings, though the punk rockers' run a little more rampant than just the right ear. The rockers are also very talkative, of nearly bubbly disposition, and the majority of punk bands' singers have the whiney, high pitch often associated with a gay person. All this and neither side tends to shy away from pink.

 

Blog 35: Evaluative Argument Part Deux: Sycophantastic

 

http://www.watchblog.com/democrats/archives/002837.html#more

 

The writer claims that not all people are born to lead, and that another easy way to get ahead is becoming a yes man, because the sycophant's nature is cultured for advance. O yes, the yes man is the ideal of unwarranted success.

 

And what makes a yes man's business so apt for promotion? Well, the article has written that the yes man's forms of ass kissery eventually please the boss, and allow the yes man to be favored foremost among his colleagues. Not only that, but butt kissing is a fast way to get ahead. So when promotion time comes, that brown nose is the dead giveaway of the winner.

 

And i completely agree with this. If you can make a boss happy, then the boss will obviously want to make you happy. You scratch my back, suck up to me, and mindlessly agree with me, I'll scratch yours. Also, it really is fast, a faster and more efficient way to gain favor, much better than real competance in an occupation. So business majors, get your bobble heads ready.

 

Blog 36: Final Paper Brainstorming

 

Sure, I could have gone political for this, hit up one of the hot-button issures. Or even done the current event thing, talk about wars and bash Bush, but do i feel strongly about that? Nay, i do not.

So what's that leave me. Jack shit, pretty much. Hmmmmmmm. Well, i do feel very strongly about not wearing shower sandals (see Blog 7: W.C. Blues), but can i rant a whole paper on it? Yes. But will I...?

 

 

 

Blog 37: Continuation of Brainstorming

 

I have to find a proper topic for this paper. I hear it's a big deal come grade time.

What do i feel strongly about? Damn, i know i feel feelings, but i'm having problems coming up with one defensible enough to write a paper on. I like music, movies, and ripping on NASA. There could be a thesis there somewhere.

 

 

 

 

 

Blog 38: Critique on Sitcoms

 

Had a dream I was a cosmonaut

in some psuedo-karaoke sitcom

Crashed my ship, smack-dab flopped the take

Marooned on the selfless nebulan Seinfeld's dream,

feverin' rocket fuel fires sailed the light years

home, occupying porch swings and rental kitchenettes,

cast witnessed the mind-blown dynamo of original creation,

and did they ever repent. Did they ever repent.

Again. From the top

 

Blog 39: Cold

 

I've been feeling under the weather lately, and it sucks.

 

http://www.geocities.com/verdancho/cold.JPG

 

Blog 40: Cold2

 

It got worse today. The mucus is so backed up it's comin out of every orifice in my body--my mouth, my eyes--you dont even want to know what i left in the bathroom.

 

http://www.geocities.com/verdancho/Cold2.JPG

 

Blog 41: Cold3: The Death of Dancho

 

I give it about 3 secs before this virus completely kills me and devours my soul. Dont judge me if you dont see me in class Friday.

 

http://www.geocities.com/verdancho/Cold3.JPG

 

Blog 42: Final Paper Thesis

 

It just hit me, like a thief in the night. I got the topic for my proposal: mormonism. In my paper i'll show how and why mormonism should be abolished and give my instruntions on how to eradicate this threat to real Christianity.

 

Blog 43:

 

By Stephen Colbert

 

Historians debate feverishly over who is the best president in American history. However, there is little disagreement over who was the worst. His name was Warren G. Harding (1921-1923), and he sucked.

 

The reasons why he sucked are many and, to be truthful, have been widely catalogued in the annals of presidential history. So, with your indulgence, I'd like to focus instead on the intensity of his sucking.

 

Warren G. Harding was a worthless piece of shit. Fuck him. His presidency was a taint, not just in the sense of a "stain on the office," but literally a taint - the anatomical area between the anus and the testicles.

 

I hate Warren G. Harding

 

Blog 44:it's snowing

 

Blog 45: wow. funny

 

just saw this wicked funny clip of the animation that would become Family Guy

 

Blog 46: snow quote

 

"The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom it touches."

- E.E. Cummings

 

Blog 47: snow quote

 

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."

- Jeff Valdez

 

Blog 48: snow quote

 

"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand ­ and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late."

- Marie Beyon Ray

 

Blog 49: Quotes, they keep me from putting thought into anything

 

"Over the river and through the wood,

To grandfather's house we go;

The horse knows the way To carry the sleigh,

Through the white and drifted snow."

- Lydia Maria Child

 

Blog 50: snow quote

 

"In the bleak midwinter

Frosty wind made moan,

Earth stood hard as iron,

Water like a stone;

Snow had fallen, snow on snow,

Snow on snow,

In the bleak midwinter,

Long ago."

- Christina G. Rossetti

 

Blog 51: thoughts

 

So im sitting here, thinking that i should write few more blogs to make this look good. I hate doing these damn diary things and since the quote thing has been going so well for me, I think i'll do some quotes. i was looking up books i liked, random thoughts i had, just googling authors and random thoughts and i came up with the following quotes i like. A lot of them are from Hamlet and a few from Dickens cause those are the books i've got in front of me right now. Most of the lines have been kindly highlighted for me by their former owners.

 

Blog 52: Quote

 

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be: for loan oft loses both itself and friend; and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 53: Quote

 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. Charles Dickens

 

Blog 54: Quote

 

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known. Charles Dickens

 

Blog 55: Quote

 

"Come, Watson, come!" he cried. The game is afoot." Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

 

Blog 56: Quote

 

Call me Ishmael. Herman Melville

 

Blog 57: Quote

 

"Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!" William Shakespeare

 

Blog 58: Quote

 

"Bah!" said Scrooge. "Humbug!" Charles Dickens

 

Blog 59: Quote

 

"I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 60: Quote

 

"O that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw, and resolve itself into a dew! Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! O God! How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable seem to me all the uses of this world!" William Shakespeare

 

Blog 61: Quote

 

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 62: Quote

 

"To be, or not to be,--that is the question:--whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them?" William Shakespeare

 

Blog 63: Quote

 

"Alas, poor Yorick!--I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rises at it." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 64: Quote

 

"Frailty, thy name is woman!" William Shakespeare

 

Blog 65: Quote

 

Now, I return to this young fellow. And the communication I have got to make is, that he has great expectations." Charles Dickens

 

Blog 66: Quote

 

"This above all,--to thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 67: Quote

 

"Double, double, toil and trouble; fire, burn; and caldron, bubble." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 68: Quote

 

"Out, damned spot! out, I say!" William Shakespeare

 

Blog 69: Quote

 

"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes . . ." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 70: Quote

 

"Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,

That I shall say good night till it be morrow." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 71: Quote

 

"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the East, and Juliet is the sun!

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

who is already sick and pale with grief

That thou her maid art far more fair than she." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 72: Quote

 

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet."

 

Blog 73: Quote

 

"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name!

Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

And I'll no longer be a Capulet." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 74: Quote

 

"O, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on." William Shakespeare

 

Blog 75: Quote

 

The water of the fountain ran, the swift river ran, the day ran into evening, so much life in the city ran into death according to rule, time and tide waited for no man, the rats were sleeping close together in their dark holes again, the Fancy Ball was lighted up at supper, all things ran their course. Charles Dickens

 

Blog 76: Quote

 

"All that glisters is not gold . . ." William Shakespeare The Merchant of Venice

 

Blog 78: Quote, the last one

 

"God bless us every one!" said Tiny Tim, the last of all. Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol

 

Merry Christmas to whomever's reading my blog.